When Migraine Comes, Everything Stops.

It was the first day of my annual leave.  Winter is a time of rest and dormancy, I had carved out time to slow down, recharge, connect with friends and family, something I’d been craving for weeks.

We’d had a relaxed day, full of connection, good conversation and sunshine, and ended like lots of Friday’s with takeaway from a new spot that looked promising. The menu listed allergens (tick), I made thoughtful choices (tick), avoided my known triggers (tick). I've done this dance before. I know what to look for.

But around midnight, I felt it.  That slight, unmistakable twinge behind my eye. The kind that whispers, “you know what this is.”  I got up. Water. Panadol. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, I could catch it early enough. But migraines aren’t interested in negotiation.

By 3am, I was wide awake, the spasms starting. My face was already beginning to contort, that awful, involuntary tightening that makes it hard to even speak. I took a Valium, something I’ve used before to take the edge off the physical muscle spasms, and I managed a few hours of sleep. When I woke up, the spasms were still rolling in like a tide. Stronger. More insistent.

Day two. I got worse not better. The pain relief helps, but not without its own side effects; grogginess, constipation, a kind of mental fuzz that dulls more than just the pain. I’ve always been sensitive to medications so while they give the relief I need, they knock me around in their own way.

This is not how I planned the start of my time off.  But here we are.

Migraine Isn't Just a Headache

If you know, you know. It’s not just the pain.  It’s the wave of anxiety in the lead-up. The way it hijacks your plans. The way you have to push through work or parenting or life, even though you're barely functioning. The way recovery takes longer now. The way you lose chunks of time and no one else really sees it.

What’s more, for many women, especially in midlife, it’s getting worse.  More frequent. Longer lasting. Harder to bounce back from.  And when you try to explain it, you might get met with polite nods, blank stares, well-meaning advice (“Have you tried magnesium?”) or just... silence.

Meanwhile, you’re the one cancelling plans.  Missing meetings.  Bracing for the next wave, even when you're in the clear, because you know it’s coming again.  And that waiting? That’s its own kind of exhaustion.

I Know This World Because I’ve Lived in It

Before I was a clinican, I was a migraine sufferer.  Still am, to a degree, but far less frequently now.  In my fertile years, they were monthly. Perimenopause turned the volume up. There were years where they felt like the rhythm of my life: always approaching or recovering from one.

I’ve sat across from GPs who didn’t have much to offer.  My sensitivity to pharmaceuticals and allergy to NSAIDS limited the treatment options.  They couldn’t explain what caused them and had little to no interest in finding out.  “It’s pretty common in women of your stage of life” they would say.  I’ve left appointments feeling like I was being dramatic, or worse, making it up.  But I never left with a solution, let alone a handout about managing triggers.

I’ve ridden the migraine rollercoaster and learned for myself what might have been happening by tracking every tiny thing that might be a trigger.  Except that sometimes those things would be a trigger and other times they wouldn’t.  I was confused and frustrated that the doctors couldn’t help.  And here’s the thing: trigger isn’t the same as cause.

That’s what changed everything for me, personally and professionally.  When I stopped looking at migraines as random events to be “managed” or a collection of triggers, and started asking why they kept happening, I uncovered the web of systems underneath: hormones, detox pathways, gut health, neurotransmitters, nervous system load.  That’s where the work really began.

It’s Not All in Your Head (But Also, It Is)

Let’s just say it: it is in your head.  A migraine is a neurological event. A real, physical, full-body experience that’s felt in the brain, but affects everything.  And it deserves to be taken seriously.

Not brushed off.  Not treated as “just a headache.”  Not endlessly patched over with pain relief that masks symptoms without ever asking why this keeps happening in the first place.  You deserve better than that.

A Different Conversation

If this all sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And I don’t mean that in the throwaway way people use when they’re trying to comfort you. I mean that there are so many women out there navigating this silently, especially in midlife, juggling careers, families, hormonal changes, ageing parents, and the unrelenting pressure to just get on with it.

Migraines are more common than you might think. They affect over 1 billion people worldwide, making them one of the most widespread health issues out there.

On top of the pain, they can take a real toll on your day-to-day life, people with chronic migraines often lose 4 to 6 workdays each month, which adds up to billions in lost productivity every year. These numbers are huge, but for the person navigating them, it’s even bigger. If this is you, you’re not imagining it, you deserve better understanding, better support, and a path forward that makes a real difference.

I see you. Because I’ve been you.  And I’ve also spent years helping women untangle what’s going on in their bodies, so they can finally get some answers, and real, sustainable relief.

Understanding the root cause of migraine

I’ve pulled together what I know into a free handout that breaks down the underlying systems most commonly involved in migraine, especially the ones we don’t talk about nearly enough. It’s a starting point. A guide for women who are tired of being told to “take something and lie down in a dark, quiet room” and ready to look deeper.

If that’s you, I’d love for you to download it.  Not because I have a miracle cure. But because this might be the first step in finally understanding your body in a different way.

Complete the form below to access the hand out.

Mary-Leigh is a clinical nutritionist and lifestyle medicine practitioner who supports women through the menopause transition, naturally. She helps you reclaim your energy, vitality, and confidence with no guesswork, no gaslighting, just real, evidence-based support and a whole lot of compassion. Curious about working together? Book a free 25-minute Menopause Wellness Review. No pressure, just a genuine conversation about what’s going on for you and how she can support your next steps.